Look to Saint Joseph for lessons in quiet strength, protection and faith in God’s plan
Story by Ashlie Hand | Photography by Megan Marley
The Catholic Church is now midway through its celebration of the Year of Saint Joseph, and with the month of June comes the opportunity to also celebrate the fathers and father figures in our lives. Saint Joseph was the adoptive father of Jesus and can be a powerful example for fathers embarking on adoption journeys of their own.
When Dr. Kent, Liz and Karen Noel are seated together, they call it “the Oreo,” drawing attention to Kent and Karen’s dark hair in contrast to Liz’s light blonde. And like an Oreo, they say the dark cookies are just there to protect the best part: the middle. Despite the differences in their physical appearance, their story is one of a common love for each other and an appreciation for the journey that has brought them together.
Kent and Karen Noel both grew up in Moberly, Mo., but didn’t actually meet until they were at the University of Missouri, where Karen was earning her bachelor’s degree in business and Kent was working on his master’s degree in counseling. They were married 18 months later at St. Pius X Parish in Moberly, then returned to Columbia to work toward post-graduate degrees. A job offer with Sprint brought the couple to the Kansas City area in 1999, where they settled down and began to think about starting a family.
Kent was raised in the Catholic Church, but admits that he did not grow up with a heavy emphasis on catechism. As with many young people, he went through a period of time in college when he questioned his faith, explaining, “When you’re young, you’re smart but you’re not wise … I got bombarded with a lot of secular stuff in school, but I just couldn’t believe this is all some kind of cosmic accident.”
Kent’s parents kept him grounded in his faith, and a professor at Westminster College, where Kent received his undergraduate degree, taught him, “If you believe even when the world is telling you not to believe, and if you can still believe in God despite all of the gray, that shows a deeper faith. Respecting the mystery of it can make your faith stronger.”
That grounding and perspective became increasingly important as Kent and Karen realized they were being called to adopt. In researching their different options, they had some concerns about international adoption, and other adoption agencies didn’t quite align with the Noels’ moral and ethical standards. Eventually, through prayer and Kent’s involvement with the Knights of Columbus, the couple discovered Catholic Charities’ adoption services, which offered them the perfect solution.
“The Knights of Columbus are champions of adoption as an alternative to abortion and that had a big influence on our decision,” says Kent.
For the Noels, the adoption process lasted two full years, but through a lot of grace, patience and trust in God’s plan and timing, they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl they named Elizabeth.
“Adoption is a walk of faith,” says Karen. “For us, it was a prayerful journey and an exercise of trust that challenged our ability to fully believe in God’s plan for our family.”
When the process to finalize the adoption dragged on for a year after bringing Elizabeth home, seeing God’s hand in the process wasn’t always easy.
“When we realized how much Liz is like us, what a gift she’s been and how she’s brought us so much closer together, it had to be the hand of God and part of an overarching plan,” Kent reflects. “Maybe the three of us were meant to be together. Not that we were just meant to adopt, but that we were specifically meant to adopt her.”
As Elizabeth has grown, Kent finds himself leaning more and more on the example of Saint Joseph’s quiet strength, chivalry, openness and role as protector.
“I pray to Saint Joseph a lot,” Kent says with enthusiasm. “Being a Knight, Joseph is right up there with Mary. He was a classic Knight in the way he protected his family and guided Jesus in a quiet, rock solid way.”
When asked what makes Kent such a great father and husband, Karen and Liz are definitely in agreement that it’s his sense of humor. Kent gets the biggest laughs from 12-year-old Liz when he tries to relate to a video game she’s playing by comparing it to some of the video games he played as a kid. Karen especially appreciates how thoughtful Kent is and how his first priority is dedicating time to his family plus his “wicked sense of humor can decompress a situation pretty easily.”
Kent’s unique and special role as adoptive father also bonds him to Saint Joseph in a powerful way. Kent specifically points to the way St. Joseph embraced Jesus as his own child and raised him with the same devotion he might have had for a natural child.
Some of Kent’s most treasured moments with Liz are the discussions they have in the car between home and the soccer field, away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Their conversations revolve around faith, religion, life and politics. As Liz matures, their conversations take on deeper meaning and authenticity.
“I never lie to my daughter. There are a lot of topics challenging kids today that we didn’t have to deal with growing up and I want her to stay grounded in Catholic social teaching, and not buy into the larger secular culture,” Kent says emphatically. He wants her to understand the “difference between doing what is right versus what is easy.” Kent believes that St. Joseph must have also taught that lesson to Jesus.
Kent draws the comparison to Saint Joseph’s trust in God’s plan when he agreed to be Jesus’ adoptive father, taking Mary as his wife despite the social and moral challenges that society would have associated with the situation.
Kent explains, “Saint Joseph saw fatherhood as a vocation, a way to serve God. That is an example that all fathers can and should follow and a role we can all accept.”
Catholic Charities Adoption Services
For couples whose hearts long to adopt, Catholic Charities is licensed in Missouri and accredited through the Council on Accreditation. If you are interested in becoming an adoptive parent, please email adoptions@ccharities.com or call 816.659.8235. If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, Catholic Charities can help. To get started, please call 913.908.0829 to speak with an adoption social worker or email adoptions@ccharities.com.
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